That’s why

You have to know when’s the right time to argue, wether it’s your fight or not. Don’t get all worked up and at the end you realised, it wasn’t worth it. And what’s the worst part? Being hated by other people because of your ‘not so clever actions’
Do You appreciate you friendship?

Be the better person.

I always asked myself, every time you know something’s about to go down. 

Would i be the better person instead?
The things you said wasn’t even meant for her. It was totally innocent.
Let me give a a brief explanation of what had happened.
So we’re currently working on a movie. A short one, because it was around 20 minutes top.
So my friend went home. And before that let me tell you, there’re actually 5 people in the group. At first everything was fantastic. We have great chemistry with each other, we worked well, let’s just say that.
I wasn’t actually the leader of the group, but somehow it’s just how things work. My friends tend to ask for my confirmation before they do something, and im totally okay with it. I was never bothered with it. 
It took us the whole day to filmed everything out and most part we just acted it spontaneously.

 After the filming ended, i told them. Ok, lets divide this group into two for the editing for back up if anything happen. 
To make it simple, i just told them to divide by gender so that my friends can come to my room at any time without it being illegal. Lol
So one of my friend that went home, she was actually the one volunteered to do for us girls. And i was totally ok with it, i had prepared everything. I even labeled every video with number so it’s easier for her.
Since she went home and we had actually planned to finished it that weekend. I just randomly asked my other girl friend that was in the same group to do it. And she was totally ok with it. 
After the editing was done, i told them in the group. I was like, guys we had done the editing and it’s your guys turn yadaa yadaa yadaa. 
The message was intended for the boys in the group because they still has to make theirs as a back up for our group.
So my friend that went home suddenly popped up in the chat and she was like 

“so what do i have to do?”

I told her that

“Nothing babe, it was done. I was actually talking to the guys and totally forgot about you”
So the problem occurred when i asked her

“There’s still one scene left we have to film, do you want to do that?”
It was totally an innocent question because i never remembered saying that i was the one who’s going to do it.
And she directly replied

“No, because you said you’re gonna do it”

If you guys got lost and don’t understand where this conversation is heading to.
Let me.
So she thought that when i asked her “There’s still one scene left we have to film, do you want to do that?”

It’s like me saying that

‘Since you didn’t do the editing which you had promised to do, so im just gonna passed this to you as a, don’t know, maybe as a repayment for doing the editing instead?’
BUT IT WAS TOTALLY NOT THAT.

Waaaay different from what i had intended.

But she thought of it like that. And me being me. I love my friends. I won’t be the one like

‘Ah dia ni. Nak terasa terasa pulak.’

No, i would never do that. Especially i know that the reason she became like that was because she had wrongly interpreted what i had intended to say.
So i personal messaged her and said

“Babe, you don’t have to worry about anything. We had done the editing for our group so it’s okay. You don’t have to do it anymore, and don’t worry, everything’s okay”
How i know my guessed of her being angry at me was right was when she took 30 minutes to actually reply my message.
But she was calmed, she was like

“Oh ok, because i just don’t get it. What you were saying. Since you said that the message was for the guys so, okay”
And it ended there. No more hurt feelings and we were totally okay with it.
Sometimes, misunderstanding happens. By being the better person doesn’t really mean that im better than her, no. It’s just that when you know, you had started it, without even intended it that way, you just have to make sure, you ended it in a very well mannered way.  
Appreciation.

If you appreciate your friend and to not lost the friendship over a silly understanding like that, then don’t.
Being calm and collected has it perks sometimes. And in this kind of situations, really do help.
You’re the same gender, so you’ll understand perfectly why your friend gonna act like that when certain thing happens. Especially when she felt like she was put under the spotlight just because she had not done as what she had promised. 
Girls are like that.

 That’s why im friend with her. That’s why we’re best friend. Even if i won’t acted that way if the situation is the other way round, but i could totally understand what she was feeling and why she had acted that way. And i know the way to handle the situation. 

That’s why. 
Peccatori.

Since i wrote this one about friendship, im currently working on this topic but for relationship, for my next entry. 

Adios

Shitty writing, forgive me🙈

Spotting a bench nearby, i took a seat.

Watching as people passed by, either on their own or with family members or pushing a stroller or with their dogs, cats or pets. 

 Suddenly, i felt someone tugged the bottom of my shirt. Glancing to my right side i saw a boy, more likely a toddler with mud smudged all over his cute face. 

His shoulder was tensed and he was scowling. Smiling, i grabbed his hand and hold em in mine and soon felt his shoulder relaxed but a little scowled was still tugged on his cute little mouth. 

You would have thought i would asked him questions by now right? 

Wrong, because i didn’t care during that time. All i knew that, he’s safe with me.

So little to understand that life was not as simple as he believed it to be.

His daily problem consisted of what he wanted for breakfast or how tall he had gotten since last ramadhan.

How lucky of him, i wished my life was that easy. 

Him not understanding life yet, just enjoying his own little world.

Right? 

Wrong.

Who would have thought, at home his family was struggling to not let him know that they are getting a divorce.

Who would have thought, he had knew all along. 

Who would have thought that every time his baby brother would cry (2 years younger, he’s 6) asking where mummy is, he’d be the one to comfort him.

     Without receiving comfort from his             parents.

Who would have thought, every time his dad dropped him off at kindergarden and left without giving him a kiss on the forehead like how every other kids was receiving, he knew all along. 

That his dad blamed him for what had happened between his parents relationship.  

He’s now older, stronger and more mature. 

But, would he ever forget when he was the one acting like a farther towards his baby brother instead of their own father throughout their childhood.

Regardless what you children age is

4,6,10,16,18,25,30,40,45,50.

Parents need to realise that

Children can’t choose who their parents are.

Every action that you made, we will remember and used it against you.

Our attitude depends on how we are raised.

Your decision will affect our lifes.

Naah, just kidding.

Parents need to realise that, regardless of what our age is

We’re still growing.

We’re still learning about life

We will always need your attention

Your support

For you to be understanding

And most importantly

To not judge

And be disappointed with how our life turned out to be

Even if you guys knew that it wasn’t the best and we could have done better

Just tell us you knew that ‘we did try, and things are meant to happen that particular way’

Oh, and whatever gestures you guys makes towards each other, we will most likely do that to our partners(spouse) 

So watch out, cause we’re watching

Realising that i had zoned out, i dragged that little boy with me asking ‘wanna grab some ice cream?’

Suddenly, all that mattered during that moment was 

What flavour would i choose.

Peccatori

P/s: i didn’t know where this was going actually, so i had to end it there. Sorry, it’s a shitty writing.